Hello from here to there,

A year ago, I was up in Canada getting prepared to move our momma into a memory care residency.

Even writing this, at times I still can't believe it's true. My mom and dad have been together for over 57 years. 

For those of you who have a loved one with dementia (or addiction, or serious illness), you know there are stages, and there comes a time when patterns become much more acute. 

We had a short window to get everything taken care of and I was feeling the pressure of time. We did some quick research and learned that the shade of green can help soothe the mind. Sage green was one of the shades.

They gave us Saturday to paint, Sunday, to have it dry and lay the carpet, then Monday, we would move her in.

So we drove to Benjamin Moore, we stood in the aisles, we held up all the swatches, and selected a soft, reassuring, natural tone. They mixed the cans. We dropped off the paint.

The next day, the painters texted a final picture of the paint on the walls.

… It was more like lime green. 

NEON lime green.

Speaking of losing my mind, I went to my car in the garage and pounded the steering wheel. Again. Again. Again. Not my finest moment. I’m laughing at myself as I type this. Looking back, I see how ridiculous the behavior was, yet in the same breath, honest.

I wasn't crying about the paint color. I was crying because my momma was in so much pain, and I didn't have the map for where she'd gone. I could feel how fast things were moving, faster than we could learn the language for it. Nothing prepares us for these rites of passage.

So I sat in the car and hit the heck out of the steering wheel. 

The truth is, we're all going to have moments when life feels like too much. When we catch ourselves and think, I'm being crazy right now.

In my experience, the practice isn't about not feeling the grief, the sadness, the fear, or whatever is there. It's about catching myself in the moment, taking a breath, and allowing myself to feel what's underneath it all.

The next time you find yourself in one of these moments, I invite you to catch your breath with me and use the simple practice of catching ourselves to help bring you back to the here and now.

▶ Watch the video here.

THIS WEEK’S REFLECTION
This week, when you catch yourself in one of those moments, ask:

I continue to inquire alongside you.

I'd love to hear what rises for you because I’ve been flooded with gratitude reading all of your responses each week, witnessing how you are living the way.

These replies are beautiful, and I want to share them here each week as we are collectively choosing and living A Kinder Way, together.

With love,
Sage 🪷